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Permalink Reply by Herb R Barker on March 5, 2010 at 12:53am

Hi Shilpa_____How old is your son, by the way? Does he have a support system to help him with his studies? I personally was internally troubled in my school years, therefore did not easily comprehend academic studies and what was expected of me, and also had a lot of difficulty understanding the necessity of it all. I truly did not like school at all. The result was I preferred skipping school. (down-town Stuttgart Germany can be very exciting for a young man lol ) Perhaps with a mothers wisdom you can figure some way for him to join you for a few minutes each day in chanting. Then naturally he can advance internally, and simultaneously bring out the Buddha wisdom to better his school scores, and with the wisdom of the buddha make his studies more enjoyable and fun. He will perhaps be amazed with his new found wisdom, and perhaps even begin to find school work challenging. Have a great week-end P.S in my adult life I was taking classes regularly at community colleges for close to 25 years, and enjoyed it all immensely.

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Permalink Reply by shilpa iyer on March 5, 2010 at 1:03am

hi Herb...he is 13 yrs old..hv enroled him into tutions whch hez been consistantly bunkin. Ya like you he hates to go schoolin . Ofcrse he is an SGI young lion bt doesn do his daily gongyo or evn chant..

Basicaly an extremly loving child by nature bt refuses & hides away from hardwork & where there is effort requird. very casual & irresponsible towrds life in general.

Sumhow m sure abt his briliant future it is jst the present wch envelops me ...

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Permalink Reply by Herb R Barker on March 5, 2010 at 1:40am

Shilpa____When I read "bt he doesn't do "his" daily gongy or even chant", I had to chuckle. A young man at thirteen has to decide "on his own" about wether he should do gongyo "every day" (yikes) "On top of school work i gotta to gongyo every day?"(yikes) I'd say be carefull you don't "mother him" too much. At 13 a young man does begin to have a need for more liberty, I did. Who wants to do work hard at 13?? Unless you have a need for money and getting paid of course (lol). At 13 and on throughout my teen years, my primary interest was hanging out with friends away from home. ( military brats hang out at teen clubs on the base, so parents didn't have to worry too much about their teens being to far off, generally lol). Perhaps you can strike up "some kind of loving deal" to have him join you in 5 or ten minutes daimoku every day. This of course would afford him added shoten senjin protection in many arenas, and would relieve you of some of your naturall maternal worries. Hope your son doesn't read my responses (yikes)

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Permalink Reply by shilpa iyer on March 5, 2010 at 1:50am

ya i understand..trying to do my Humn revolutn everyday.. i gues i hv to stil work harder on my prayers to get him feel te need to chant evn 3 daimoku..hv been trying evrydy to mk him understnd the need of gakai..

Indeed have a deep roted realtionship karma to expaite i can see. My wories are he mite jst end up losing a year & will have to repeat clas if he dsnt look at it seriously .

praying harder to nt give in to my fears & anxieties.,

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Permalink Reply by Betty Santoro on March 6, 2010 at 7:22pm

Hi there,
I guess I should put my two cents worth in here. I think at 13 years old this is a very important time of his life. Its important that he feels loved and guided, along with guidance is discipline. I think your son would gain by being enrolled in some type of martial arts, like karate, etc. I had a nephew at this age that started to experiment with drugs, wouldn't do his school work and and was hanging with the wrong crowd. My brother was constantly monitoring his school work and in close contact with his teachers. Along with daimoku comes action and the reality of what is exactly going on with your son. Just chanting and hoping everything turns out is not the answer, its chanting, action!! Dont worry about your son chanting, You cannot make him chant. A mothers prayer is enough, but you are still his parent and he is still the kid, so you have domain over his activities and school and homework are priority.

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Permalink Reply by Betty Santoro on March 6, 2010 at 7:37pm

Oh, and by the way, my nephew is married today and gainfully employed and has a lovely wife and son.
Doing Martial Arts changed his life immensely, along with his Aunts(me) daimoku.

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Permalink Reply by anju chaudhari on March 5, 2010 at 3:41am

hi shilpa
i can only say take a challenge to overcome with this situation and dont give up no matter what happens. do lots of diamoku and help ur son in studies .remember one thing as a member of sgi and u r in a faith u have to help ur son dont give up and have faith on gohonzon.rest leaveon gohonzon everything will be good very good right have faith on ghonzon.i will chant for ur son and u also.
take care

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Permalink Reply by Kelly McGowan on March 5, 2010 at 5:26am

Hello-
I think now you can really chant for your son's happiness so he will feel your support. It will help when you talk with him. Does he understand the what will happen if he doesn't study? Sometimes young people don't understand the results of their actions. Is there a YMD who might become his friend? My older son is a very relaxed person and did not preform to his best in middle and high school. He is doing very well in college and just received 2 scholarships. I believe its is a sign of my human revolution. We are deeply linked to our family. Keep chanting, studying and sharing buddhism and ask the members to support you and you son.

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Permalink Reply by joy dunbar on March 5, 2010 at 8:58am

Read vol 10 of the human revolution – it is all about making the impossible possible

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Permalink Reply by Ray on March 6, 2010 at 12:04pm

Shilpa, just have one thing to add to some great response by others: u must chant hard for that war between the mother and leader to fuse into one...as a practitioner we must base our lives on this philosophy and Buddhism IS daily life ...so the mother too should think like a practitioner...u must chant for ur son to be sincere in his studies and realise his full potential now so that his future is just as u envision. Im sure he will succeed coz he has a mother who is single-mindedly chanting for him. All the best!

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Permalink Reply by Herb R Barker on March 6, 2010 at 9:14pm

Hi again Shilpa_____In the GROUPS section there are one or two parenting groups. Just thought I'd pass on the info. Maybe you've seen them. Have a great week-end

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Permalink Reply by Leaetta May Wacker on March 6, 2010 at 11:03pm

You are in the midst of suffering, but it is here you develop the heart of the lion king. You do faith practice and study right? So hang on. Remember the gosho quote.
"Though one might point at the earth and miss it, though one might bind up the sky, though the tides might cease to ebb and flow and the sun rise in the west, it could never come about that the prayers of the practitioner of the Lotus Sutra would go unanswered."
You are going to have tremendous actual proof. Keep reading President Ikeda, and you will see that what you are going through is exactly how he became the person he is today. Victory is not easy. Reality is not easy. He said both of these things.

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