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Since I became a member of Soka Gakkai three years ago, my attitude towards life has totally changed.
As all of you are aware of the health challenges, not to mention financial challenges, I am under going for last two years, I would like to share how these challenges have forged me to become a better human being and look at things in a positive way. May be, this is my Human Revolution.
Looking back, I remember having an overwhelming desire to discover and live with genuine hope even while in the depths of despair at my condition, and it was President Ikeda's encouragement and my direct interaction with Gakkai members that became the wellspring of that hope. Everything about Nichiren Buddhism and the Gakkai went straight to my heart. "Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is like the roar of a lion. What sickness can therefore be an obstacle?" This passage from one of Nichiren's letters of encouragement to a believer hit me like a thunderbolt. I learned from this that by practicing Buddhism one can achieve a life state of absolute happiness and remain strong without being affected by external circumstances. Amazed, I thought, "Maybe I too can lead such a life." I began to believe that my life had tremendous potential that I had to reveal.
It all started with the paralysis of my left eye lid and subsequently losing vision in my left eye. It shook me but I did not lose hope. I still have all the hope of recovering. What was surprising is that my practice of Nichiren Buddhism helped me to look at the problem in a different way and I thanked Gohonzon that the tsunami went over my left eye only. What would have happened to me if the whole left side of my body was struck with paralysis?
What was challenging was the expenses on medicines and frequently going to Chennai for my treatment. I had to shell out a lot of money and it started having its toll on my finances too. I started thinking of increasing my income and thought of starting currency trading which is still in its infancy in India & become the best trader cum Instructor. But, somehow I became complacent and the project was almost forgotten, though sometimes I did think about it.
Then came the second wave of tsunami. Gohonzon has its own way of waking us up to fulfil our goals. I was diagnosed with early stage of cancer in my stomach. I went for guidance to my senior leaders and they encouraged me to fight it out with my practice. And just on last Thursday, 7th October, another report suggested that my liver is also affected. Every day is a challenge for me. Co-ordinating Gakkai activities, doing Gongyo & Daimoku, going to office at 7.45 am, bringing cheers to my family who are suffering more than me, is an on going and growing challenge for me today. I too break down when I see my wife’s moist eyes. This life changing practice has taught me that our happiness is inside and we should not depend on external factors for happiness. I constantly encourage my wife too and make her understand that birth, sickness, aging and death are the phenomenas one can never avoid. Most important thing is how do we embrace death?
After having gone through both the volumes of Opening of the Eyes & Blue Deeper than Indigo several times,I decided to change this karma into my mission and took up forex trading seriously and opened an account to trade. In spite of frequent visits to the hospitals in Delhi & Mumbai I continue to carry out all my activities in full swing for the following reasons:
1) I have to earn minimum USD 100/ per day by January 3,2011 to meet all my expenses and create a financial security in case of any eventuality.
2) As taking rest is the foremost requirement in my case, I may be able to leave my job, stay at home and take maximum possible rest.
3) It also encouraged me to start something of my own. I floated a website by the name of Myolotus.com and have thought of doing whatever I am doing now but under my own brand . It would not only help me financially, but I shall also be able to change the life of thousands if not millions. (the website is under construction now). It was my long cherished goal to help people live better lives which is now seeing the light of the day. Thanx to Gohonzon for giving me the shock of my life and awakening the giant within me.
4) Last but not the least, all these activities will give me ample time and opportunity to devote myself fully in kosen rufu activities. And that is my ultimate mission in life now.
Although the step I took to start Myolotus.com is a small one, the change that I experienced in me is dramatic. I found myself feeling, "I want to become a messenger who can convey the message of Nichiren Buddhism to the world!" "I want to create men of character & conviction who will move people's hearts!"
Until now, I always thought of my work merely as a way to earn a living. After I started practicing Nichiren Buddhism, and decided to turn my karma into mission, my work became much more meaningful. I found myself aspiring toward a distinct dream. It was as if a candle was suddenly lit within my life. With the belief that "no prayer will go unanswered," I am puttng my full effort into even this small but sigmificant project.
Through this practice I have learnt to change every poison to medicine, to turn every challenge into a mission. Struggles are a part of life but how we grapple with them is a matter of concern. And nothing is better than Daimoku to overcoming our doubts. With this in mind I increase my Daimoku to 4 hrs per day from 29th September, two days before my second endoscopy and biopsy. As a result I feel so good and my life condition remains high, always.
I may be physically week but in my heart and spirit I am freer than anyone else! In partnership with my wife and son, I am determined to develop myself even more and live my life together with my fellow BSG members and my mentor, who taught me how to put the philosophy of Nichiren Buddhism into practice. Last but not the least, I have promised to my leaders that by 18th November 2010 I shall report my victory to Sensei. My conviction says: YES! I WILL BE VICTORIOUS AND REPORT MY VICTORY TO SENSEI.