Hi My Gakkai Family,
I know it has been awhile, and as you all know, I am here in London studying for my Masters Degree. A lot of positive things are transpiring, within me. Chanting a lot, doing shakubuku, going deep within cleaning really cleaning all this negative stuff, and as we all know when your practice is strong, the devil of the sixth heaven always rears his ugly head. I posted a note on my page earlier this month in how my daughter is back in the states to go visit her father, well a turn of events have transpired, and I have to respect the fact that she wants to stay there, and am actually doing really well with that.
I have been chanting fiercely for her protection and for me to change this negativity I have with her father. A lot has happened through the course of the years, and I know NOW is when it needs to be changed. Well now, for the reason for the daimoku. My ex, who has never really been a part of my child's life, is now suing me for sole custody. I have, he has coerced her into believing that it is only for the school year, and she can come back at any time. She is almost 14 years old, and in the state of Texas, she does have the right to chose which parent she wants to live with. I have asked her, and told her that mommy will not be angry, and if she wants to stay permanently with him then I will have to respect that. I received a call from my attorney, and received the documents and it specifically says SOLE CUSTODY. I called him and asked him why, and it boils down to MONEY! When I left the marriage, it was due to his numerous affairs. I chanted for me and my daughters happiness for a long time, and for the members in Killeen, Texas they know, I struggled financially, emotionally, physically, and wanted nothing more than my family to be happy. I knew the day he destroyed my Gohonzon that my marriage was over. I am here in London, and don't have money to continue paying for my attorney, nor do I have the money to keep going back to the US for court. I cannot stop my studies, for if I do...I have nothing to go back to, and then I know for sure I would lose my daughter. For those who know me, really, know that I am a good mom, and fought so hard for her to get here to London with me, after close to 5 months of me being here, she finally was able to come, that was our first time ever being separated, and that was due to her father not signing the paperwork for her passport.
I have been chanting with the solid determination to end this negative relationship with my daughters father NOW.....It is time for us to stop fighting and for us to move forward, and be good loving parents for her....separately. I am determined to win! And know in my heart that I will win, but support from my fellow gakkai members is appreciated.
Thank you, so much for the daimoku in advance. I am really trying to stay positive and doing lots of shakubuku.
Love to you all.