Romantic Relationships


Romantic Relationships

A group discussing how to deal with issues which arise from relationships using what we learn in Buddhsim.

Members: 130
Latest Activity: May 18, 2016

Discussion Forum


Started by Philip Claude Andermann. Last reply by Tiger Taj Sonchai Dec 7, 2015. 5 Replies

About chanting for changes in a relationship

Started by Carrie. Last reply by Cherry Bell Jan 27, 2014. 7 Replies

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Comment by Mark S. Lester on September 18, 2011 at 3:36pm

"Of course we have to be compliant with Gakkai's basic three 'Do not do in SG' stated by Toda sensei."

Noriko, what are these three guidelines? Is this in first "Human Revolution" series?

Comment by Carmen Lucero on August 14, 2011 at 7:15pm
I have dated both within and outside of the organization. I have also introduced many of my former beaus to this practice and when we knew it was over we just parted ways, realizing we had learned what we needed to learn from each other. In the last relationship I did not push the practice and the parting was quite different. Painful and not very respectful on either end. I was tired of being criticized and he thought I was weak because I "Had" to chant every day. So, now I am seeing someone who is agnostic and in a different state :). It's new and he is curious about my practice. One thing that I can say is, whether they are members or non-members, it is important that they respect your practice.
Comment by Mark S. Lester on August 4, 2011 at 11:39am
Yeah, that too...
Comment by Mark S. Lester on August 3, 2011 at 7:40pm
Having recently experienced my first "relationship" with a fellow member (not in District) who I knew previously, I can say that, be prepared for the karma you might stir up, as well as the rewards you can reap in working out your karma together. It's a wild ride!
Comment by Noriko N. on August 3, 2011 at 6:11pm

It's a topic worth to discuss now. Of course we have to be compliant with Gakkai's basic three 'Do not do in SG' stated by Toda sensei. Beside this, as an older women who have to burden more social responsibility to youth, I believe we should not discourage young members to have an opportunity to discuss with the opposite gender members. This is very important for young members to learn from others for better future. If the two comes to romantic realm in the end, it should be welcomed and we all have to keep it warm.If they concern possible disunity or soap-opera too much than necessary and lose the best opportunity for incredible love, it is very sad.

Honestly I concern on the current situation in Tokyo, where depolulation has most advanced and young leaders who work harder tend to remain single around the age 40.

 At the same time, I do encourage young members to have a good senior member nearby whom you can ask for advice at anything(we call the person 'Esho'). That is very important not only for romantic issue but also all about your life.

Comment by Mark S. Lester on August 3, 2011 at 4:36pm
Excellent advice, Dan.
Comment by Dan on August 3, 2011 at 4:25pm
It's a lot of chanting.  General unwritten rule that I get from long practicing members is try not to date someone within your district or chapter organization.  Disunity can be the worst thing that can occur within your very district not to mention the attendant soap opera & gossip that tends to naturally well up.  From the get-go I got into a romantic relationship with a fellow member at the beginning of my practice.  We were both new in the SGI, it began as a pretty good friendship between us, both finding opportunities to share notes re: the SGI and the buddhist practice, a long period of getting to know each other (took me 3 months to admit I really liked her and admitting it to her) and we both knew were naturally attracted to each other.  Our relationship went on for about 5 years, with both of us going through so many changes with our sharing karma of our mothers dying within a year...etc.  Advice is simply to be ready for the human revolution you will intensely go through.  Nothing to be scared of, but be ready to always bring out or see the best in each other no matter the obstacles & frictions you will run into.  So very easy to 'slander' each other and the friends & karma you bring into the relationship.  Remember you're both buddhas.  Commit to respect and the benefit of the doubt.
Comment by Deirdre on August 3, 2011 at 2:58pm

Hi Katrina-

Great question!!

I dont have any experience dating a Gakkai member. I'm sure there are benefits because both partners understand the Human Revolution & Fundamential Darkness aspects of the practice that they could apply to the relationship. With that said because both partners are Gakkai members, it can be just as combustible as dating someone who dosent practice.


Comment by Clarince Thomas on February 19, 2011 at 12:32pm
Couldn't sign in for the longest but....I'm baack :-)
Comment by Philip Claude Andermann on February 19, 2011 at 11:52am

written with my step-son, seven-year-old Charlie

Red is mixed with white
...everything ... that's out of sight.

The sun is yellow.'
The sky is blue.
The clouds are white.

is the Bud
the Mud.


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