Hello All,

I hope everyone is doing well, especially those affected by the hurricane in the New Orleans area, again.  My daughter went on a group trip to Haiti over the summer to assist some of the families living there, who are still impacted, malnourished, undersheltered, you name it.

I've been struggling with a question for my daughter's friend.   They are both young adults, and her friend is going through a phase in her life right now where she is trying to be her own person and have autonomy, and she tells me she keeps getting told what to do in an unsolicited way. Has anyone ever had a direct experience with this?  Is there a specific thing she can chant for to hopefully make these intrusions go away?  Its not something I am clear on in terms of advice for her.

Many thanks,


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Comment by Dan on October 2, 2012 at 3:40pm

Depends on the age of the individual in this case if she is a young teenager.  Being 12 is a very sensitive age, as I was reminded when I was shooting photographs of Jr. High & High School age teenagers at a recent activity.  They asked me to come in later in their breakout session when they were more at ease and relaxed in the middle of an activity they would be doing.  Most boys are somewhat self-aware and very sensitive when they're 16 but mostly are too self-absorbed in their own problems & stuff.  Sometimes rebellious.  Explain to them a bit from your own life experience as a teenager what you would do differently if you chanted like them at their age....be specific and show or display to them that maybe you do somewhat understand, talking to their level without telling them what to do or being bossy/patronizing towards them.  Kids are sensitive when they know they're being lectured at.  Share something funny or embarassing that happened to you at their age and how you might have done things differently by your chanting.  You might 'connect' or make a link that way.

Comment by Sonia Chen on September 8, 2012 at 5:10am

It is great that she values herself and realises that she has her own identity :) Isn't that many adults struggle with sometimes? For me this is such a great quality to acknowledge and support. Adults can put our own values and expectation on younh people, which may not be what they want or who they are. Buddhism teaches us we all unique and have wisdom within. Ypoung people at this stage can also be sensetive and unsure, will be great to have adults who encourage and support them to be their best self! be their trusting friend ;)

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