My wife, Mari Kobayashi, is pregnant for the 2nd time this year.  The first time she was so sick for the first 3 months of pregnancy that the baby didn't make it.  The doctors said that either the baby would die or she would die.

Now she is about one month pregnant again and she is having all the same symptoms, including still bleeding and throwing up everything she tries to eat for the past 3 weeks.

My wife is not yet an SGI member and in fact she is very much against the SGI.  After she was suffering so much in the last pregnancy, I tried getting her to try chanting, but when I asked her she just got mad at me.  So this time I just have to chant more and hope she realizes that she should try chanting. 

She has to spend everyday, all day in bed, and luckily she lets me have the gohonzon enshrined in our very big bedroom and I keep the budsudan open all day which faces her, while she is in bed (maybe someday while I'm at work, she will secretly try chanting, like my step dad first did to his younger brother's gohonzon when they were roommate many years ago, and he was also against my uncle's practice). 

She doesn't mind when I chant while she is laying in bed, so I've been chanting a lot in the bedroom with her, while she is feeling very sick in bed. 

Maybe the baby will somehow feel the daimoku and be stronger this time and pull her through. 

I'm hoping this extreme struggle for my wife will be a major benefit in disquise that will finally get her to realize that she's a buddha and she can change anything with Nam Myo-ho Ren-ge Kyo. 

She doesn't want me to tell anyone she's pregnant as she got mad at me for telling people last time when the baby didn't survive for more than 3 months of the pregnancy; but I feel I would be very selfish if I didn't share my struggles with my soka family, so we can all chant together for each other and we can be encouraged by each other's victories over the impossible. 

Thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing a great experience about this incident in the near future. 

Tim Janakos (VanCampen-Kobayashi)

PS: We planned to go to the US (for her first time) during the Christmas Holiday and I'm hoping she get's better before we are scheduled to fly to the US on December 24th, so she can go and we won't have to cancel our very expensive tickets (which are also very expensive to cancel and can't be rescheduled). 


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Comment by Keiko Wakabayashi on December 24, 2011 at 7:40pm

(sorry my english is not excellent)

I came back here after a long time and read your hard situation, hoping that you could get to the US with your wife at this moment.

When my father joined us after being against this buddhism for more than 40 years, I truely understood how to change things which look like impossible into 'possible'.

He made a new member speach saying that he tried many other religions to be happy in life, but he could feel he finally be home.   He could also said that he felt everyone's daimoku when he was very sick with chanting in bed.

I believed that my family could chant a lot for fighting our weakness by praying my father would join someday.   I appreciated Sensei and Soka family who encouraged us to keep believing. 

Whatever happens, you know daimoku is always the best way, so I will chant for you and your wife.  I start it today.



Comment by Marga on December 22, 2011 at 9:12pm


Comment by Tim Janakos on December 10, 2011 at 12:11am

Thank you Marta.  Welcome to the site. 

Comment by marta on December 8, 2011 at 1:59pm

hi Tim,

i'm new here, and happend to see your experience. hope your wife is getting better. i'm sending you 3 daimoku. chanting for you to be strong in this crucial time in changing something in your life.


Comment by Tim Janakos on December 2, 2011 at 4:17pm

Thank you.  Luckily everyone in Japan gets equal and very affordable medical care.  But as I don't understand Japanese, I can't help her much in that area, but I think she is going to a good place. 

Comment by Andrea Cross Isrow on December 2, 2011 at 12:31pm
So sorry for everything you are going through! Please try and stay strong, for yourself, your wife and your baby. Please also make sure that you are getting your wife
the absolute best medical care you can. Much daimoku to your family!
Comment by Tim Janakos on November 29, 2011 at 7:22pm

Yes, I had many amazing leaders throughout my life that made me to strong Bodhisattva that I am today.   Mr and Mrs Stapchuck was my junior pioneer leaders for almost 10 years and they both influenced my life majorly in my first 10 years of life.  Then after that I had the most amazing Brass Band leader, Carl McGee and other youth leaders that really made me strong like Mark Rappaport and Dave Welch.  I also had Ben Ma'a'fala that bugged the hell out of me, but I really realize now that I needed his constant pushing.   Then even more amazing were my co-leaders, when I was a YMD chapter leader, my co-leader in the YWD was Mika Ikeda, and when I became an area YMD leader, my co-leader in the YWD was Leng Ho (both of those YWD leaders taught me how to be a real leader).  Then when I was a vice regional YMD leader, my co-leader was, then Regional leader was Jimmy King (married a stapchuck).  So I've been very fortunate all my life to be surrounded by extremely great examples in my Soka Family.  It has helped me survive in Japan for the last 6 years, where I feel like I'm practicing all by myself.  Because I can't really understand the Japanese organization and all they do at meetings is talk (in very formal Japanese that I can't understand).  So my monthly gosho lectures at the English Meeting and my ever other year Itoh Training Course is the only time I feel like I'm connected with the SGI in Japan.  So most of my connections with SGI is online with SGI member in other countries that speak my language.

Comment by kumi on November 29, 2011 at 8:52am

Wow, you mentioned Mr. Stapchuck!  I've heard the story also.  Mr. Stapchuck started to have md daimoku in his house at one point and that's what my husband started to do several years ago before we got our center. 

"Every obstacle is an opportunity". This was in the Nov. 2011 Living Buddhism

Comment by Tim Janakos on November 28, 2011 at 6:03pm

Yes, I think about the pioneer women's division experiences, especially my Junior Pioneer leaders who taught me gongyo at age 4 or 5.  Mr. Stapchuck was very much against his Japanese wife's practice and it wasn't until one day his favorite dog wouldn't come sit by him any more because he was too abusive to everyone and would only sit by his wife while she chanted.  So when his wife was gone he chanted to see if the dog would finally sit by him again and it worked, so he became a strong member for years and years after that.   And he was he nicest man I ever knew; it's so hard to believe that he was once an abusive husband.  My wife is not abusive, be she is very easily angered and loves to fight.  So actually the times when she is sick in bed is the only times I can remember that she doesn't get mad at me for some small thing.


Comment by Dan on November 28, 2011 at 3:58pm

OK, Tim.  Sounds like you're now experiencing the struggles that our WD pioneer Japanese members went through in getting their spouses to support their activities & practice and eventually getting them to practice.  Best regards to your wife (even if you can't tell her anyway)...;-D

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