Im not much of a "blogger"....however tonight I felt the need to take a shot at it.

Ive been, probably for the first time ever really, trying to become consistant in something that benefits me...instead of the things that are poisoning my life. Its always been easy for me to be consistant in things such as, hanging out with "friends", drinking, running from my problems and avoiding responsibility. Those are a breeze!!! Being responsible hasnt really proven to be my "thing" the past almost 6 years now. The tough part, I have found, is getting out of those old habits and stepping out of my usual comfort zone....that of which has done nothing positive for me in the past.

My parents have given me a tool that not many people are as fortunate to have, since birth! This practice!!! I have grown up in the practice and have seen the difference it has made in many peoples lives. Why I have turned my cheek to it for so long, Im not exactly sure. I am lazy natured, most the consistancy needed to really get anything out of this practice, has proven to ward me off. haha. In times of dire need Ive turned to the Gohonzon and seen the immediate benefits, so I cant sit and say that "its never worked for me."

So, for the past few weeks I have been chanting to chant! How funny that sounds, but Im serious! Ive been chanting to be consistant. I dont wake up "needing" or "wanting" to chant. I wake up...and it the Butsudan stares at me, or my father "forgets" to close it up (oh so smooth he is haha)....and it stares even more vigorously haha! It is centrally placed in our home, so theres no way around it. I cant avoid it without feeling like I let myself down, at this point. So I sit down, I chant and when Im finished, I think "well that wasnt so bad! I feel good!" I go about my day, and at the end of the stares at me again. lol. Im proud of my recent consistancy, but I have done this before. After a few passing weeks, I miss morning gongyo...and it just fizzles away from there. So, with that said, this is a really important time for me.

Im doing other things in my life that are actually helping me stay consistant in my practice. I am in "recovery" for an alcohol problem. I go to my AA meetings, and am trying to keep consistancy there. I feel that if I make a trend of consistancy in POSITIVE things in my life, that sitting down to do gongyo will just become a part of my routine. So far so good.

You know, I was secretly hoping for some bells and whistles and some amazing changes from the effort Ive put fourth already..silly I know, but sometimes I feel like nothings coming of it, and I want to give up. Thats my evil twin right there. She is vicious! As Linda Johnson says....SHE NEVER SHUTS UP! haha. One thing I have noticed, however, is that I have more control over her now. Not complete control YET but more then I had a few weeks ago. I really stop and think about the things I do before I do them and THAT for me is FANTASTIC. It makes me want to continue this daily routine, because without it...she wins.

One day at a time....this is the motto Ive been going by. I tend to focus too much on the future and I lose sight and strength in RIGHT NOW.

Today I did not miss gongyo. My day was a success!

Tomorrow, I will strive for more.

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Comment by yuri ishii on January 11, 2010 at 8:31am
@_@ wow!!!!! :) it's very nice that your dad is encouraged by you!!!!
keep it up!!!
Comment by Karissa Roberge on January 6, 2010 at 7:47pm
Thank you for the wonderful encouragement!
Comment by Richard Hanson on January 6, 2010 at 5:38pm
Lets all remember:"its better to chant than not to chant."
Comment by Kim Piot on January 6, 2010 at 3:29pm
HI Karissa, I know what you mean. It can be a struggle for me, too. You're not alone...I
chant to chant, too! I am sure you're going to win!!!

Comment by yuri ishii on January 6, 2010 at 11:43am
@_@ hi karissa!!! keep it up!!! life is soooo much wonderful that you don't dare to miss it.... maybe at some sight, yes you are living a life like a bed of roses, but as the saying goes, Life isn't a bed of roses.. i've been there too... yet, there's always that feeling in us that wanting to change for the better... right|??? but keep moving forward each day victoriously, defeating your own fundamental darkness in life, there's always be that devil of the 6th heaven..,. watch out!!! :D just do it on a regular basis and maybe, go for reading on sensei's guidance or maybe reading some experiences of other members... it really helps!!!!
will be hoping and you'll be a one winner in life!!! :D
Congratulations karissa!!! :)
Comment by Herb R Barker on January 5, 2010 at 1:12pm
Karissa____Just wanted to add something. Fortune babies are what's sometimes referred to as late bloomers with regard to a really consistent practice, but when they do truly "Rise", they rise like phoenixes, As I'm sure you will. Thanx in advance for all you efforts in the future. (the future is now of course lol shucks )
Comment by Karissa Roberge on January 5, 2010 at 12:43pm
Thank you everyone. I find great encouragment on this site :)

And Herb....yes my dad is still a big hockey fan haha!
Comment by Aaron on January 5, 2010 at 12:18pm
Karissa, this blog is FANTASTIC! Congratulations on a wonderful victory!
Comment by Herb R Barker on January 5, 2010 at 12:18pm
Karissa___What's always kept me consistent (missed two morning gongy's in 41 years, once after a deviated septum operation, and once was late for work on a new job, and forgot to double up in the evening LOL.) is the BIG PICTURE of buddhahood, in this lifetime. That's what I wanted at the beginning of my practice, that's what I want now, and that's what I want to insure in lifetimes to come. Say hello to your Mom and Dad Is your dad still a Ice-Hockey "fanatic"? LOL
Comment by Jennifer Saylor on January 5, 2010 at 10:33am

I started out chanting to chant too!! :-) :-) You're not alone............. :-) I have confidence You'll keep it and see changes in your desires to do so! :-) It really is a wonderful practice and I'm so glad I was introduced it!!

Jenn :-)

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